I am someone who cares deeply about those I let into my life. I can care so much that if someone comes to me with their problems I take it on personally and try to fix it for them. I get my emotions so deeply involved with those I care about that I can literally feel their pain, sadness, happiness as my own.
That said God has been working with me on disconnecting a little. Disconnecting where I can still be there for someone but not take on their problems as my own. I am learning to let go and give it all to God. Because I can't fix their problems but he can.
One of the hardest thing for me is to sit back and watch those I love sit in their hurt, pain and confusion. I can reach out, listen and give advice where I can. But ultimately they are responsible for their own lives. Nothing is going to change until they are ready to take the steps to heal and move on from where they are stuck.
I know that because I had to do it myself. I sat with a bitter, unhappy, ungrateful heart for years without knowing. I sat in my own mess without taking action to truly heal and move on from past hurts. I got to the point where I was miserable and I hit rock bottom to were I really didn't see that point of life anymore. That was my wake up call. The fact that I was numb to life, my family and my kids scared me. They were the things/people that meant most to me and I felt so disconnected.
My passions for the things I loved were gone. I had panic attacks daily, I was numb and cried a lot. My husband was at a complete loss at how to help me. I was taking care of my children's physical needs by just going through the motions. It didn't take me more then a few days of going through all that to realize that I needed to fight to get my life back.
Right away I jumped into God's word and had inspirational teachings on tv almost 24/7. I was going to fill my mind and spirit with good things. I got my children outside and took good walks everyday. I started taking care of myself better. My husband and I found an amazing new church close to home and started going.
All this said nothing changed over night. But with hard work and trust in my heavenly father I walked out my mess in about four to five months. I could have chose to have sat in it and said "well I guess that this is just my new normal". But I didn't I chose to fight and that's where people need to get to before things can really change.
People need to get the the point where they are truly ready to make a change and fight for the life that they want. We can't help them until THEY are ready and it is so hard because we love them. We want to fix everything for them but we can't. But they can when they are ready to fight for their life back.
In the mean time all we can do is encourage and be there to listen to them. One other huge thing we can do is pray because God knows them better then we do and when we pray it makes a difference.
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