The Heart Of A Learning Mother

When I found out I was pregnant I was so excited. Since I had so much babysitter and nanny experience I thought this is going to be a piece of cake. HAHA oh boy was I kidding myself. Wow I was in for a HUGE wake up call.

Being a mommy 24/7 is WAY harder then being a nanny. With my job I got to give the child back at the end of the day. With having my own baby there is no giving them back to anyone. You're the one everyone else gives them back to...lol!

The first night home was the hardest night of my life. He was so tiny and dependent on my husband and I! I was so clueless and had no idea what I was doing. Both my husband and I had not slept in about 3 days and I was still healing for just having him the day before. We were exhausted and had a screaming baby on our hands. There was no calming him down, I was crying, the baby was crying and my husband was frustrated. Not the perfect first night home I expecting.  

I would LOVE to say now 4 months later I have things down pact and our life is smooth sailing. But that would be a complete lie. Things are still hard, I am learning new things everyday about my sweet son. He's the sweetest little guy in the world. He loves when I sing "Jesus loves the little children" But I replace "children" with his name. That song is the ONLY thing that calms him down if he's crying. He starts smiling and cooing when I sing it to him. I've tried other songs but that one is the only one that seems to calm him down.

Motherhood is simply humbling and it forces you to be selfless. It can be SO unbelievably challenging at times. I want to be so selfish, get things done around the house, spend time with my husband, watch a movie, go shopping without him crying but in reality that is just not the case. My day consists of feeding him every 2-3 hours, cleaning up spit up, calming a sleepy, hungry or frustrated baby, changing diapers, playing with a happy baby or holding a sweet wiggly baby. And I wouldn't change it for a minute.

He makes me a better person. He makes me put someones needs above my own selfish ways. His adorable little personality and beautiful heart makes my soul overwhelmed with love.    

 His little smile melts my heart. His big blue eyes looking at me makes my life worth while. Motherhood is SO hard but so rewarding! I am so blessed God chose me to be my sons mother. To think he could have picked any woman in the world. But he put my sons little soul inside my body and allowed me to be his home of 9 months and mother for life. With God's help and guidance I am striving to be the best mommy I can for him.  I will always provide a home that is safe and loving. I will never be perfect and I will makes mistakes but I will ALWAYS try and never give up. And that is all any true mother can do!  

Don't live a life without vision

Sunday at church our pastor was talking about living a life of vision. Which means DREAM, PRAY and ENVISION things you want for your life. Don't live a life with no dreams, don't let people stop or stall the dreams God has placed in your heart! 

It made me think about all the things that I could have not done because people didn't think I could or didn't want me too. Two of the bigger ones were going to YWAM and marrying my husband. Both things people told me I couldn't do it or they didn't want me too. It wasn't just one person it was several. 

With going to YWAM I KNEW God had called me to go and wanted me too. But it was a fight to get people to believe I could do it. They had good reasons on why they thought I couldn't handle it. But I listen to God's reasons way I could do it. It was hard and wasn't easy but the more serious I got it about the more people started to get behind me and started to believe I could handle it. 

Once I got to YWAM it was SO HARD at first I wanted to come home. My parents dropped me off and it would have been so easy for them to turn around and pick me up before heading back to Michigan. They chose not too even though it was hard. I cried for the first couple of days. But with God's help and my amazing parents and great friends that encouraged me it got easier as the days went by. I made it all the way through the six months and EVEN went overseas to Thailand and lived with my group for two of those 6 months! Who would have thought?!?!? Only God could have done all that! I wont get into all of the details but God did life changing work in me during my time living at YWAM Atlanta! I am forever grateful for that opportunity! 

Another life changing event in my life was meeting my sweet husband online! We were matched on E-Harmony on December 2 and I knew he was the one for me by January. He came to visit me in Michigan at the end of  February! (He lived in Washington State) After he flew back we knew that we didn't want to date anyone else and God had us for each other. So we started talking about getting married. People were shocked we were moving so fast. But we both had prayed about it and knew beyond a doubt God had us for each other. We decided we wanted to get married in June! So my parents and I flew out to Washington at the end of April(beginning of May I believe) to meet his family! And Zack proposed to me! 

My mom and I had already started working on wedding details before we flew out there. We had to there wasn't much time. But let me tell you it was a FIGHT again with people, friends and family thought we were moving to fast. And some just plan old didn't want me to move that far away. Which I understand, but again I listend to God not people. It was really hard, the time that was supposed to be the happiest time of my life was really kind of a nightmare at times. But Zack and I married and yes the first year was really rough for us with me adjusting to a new place and him adjusting to living with an emotional and lost women...lol! But now over a year and a half later we are SO happy! And everyone who was concerned now can see we knew what we were doing. GOD knew what he was doing!

So my point is don't let people stop you for what God has for your life. ONLY God knows what you can handle. Not your parents, siblings, friends, husband, children or even ourselves. There are so many times I've held myself back from things thinking "Oh I can't do that"! Listen to God because GOD and only GOD knows what you can truly handle! I still have so many  dreams that I have for my life even with being a wife and a mother. I know in God's timing things will happen and I am not giving up on them!! And I pray you do the same! Because it makes life exciting to dream!! 

Oh and forgive those who try to stop or stall you. It's not worth holding onto! They usually are truly thinking it's what's best for you. Even though only God truly knows that! So forgive them and keep moving forward! 

Thank you for taking the time to read this! :-)

God Bless and Love you!
Casey

2014 The Year Of Growth

This year has so much to offer us. My sweet family is growing, my husband's business is growing and we are growing into our house that we are renting. We are growing in our marriage, love and faith.

My little belly is growing and so is my sweet family! Zack and I are expecting our first child April 8! We are so excited for our baby boy Bryson to get here. We are getting very prepared for him. Not that you can ever be totally prepared for what’s to come. But with God’s help we are doing our best.

Zack’s business is growing more than ever. This winter has been his BEST winter yet. He is always busy in the summer/fall time. But winters are usually rough for us. But this winter has been the most amazing winter ever for us. He’s been doing a lot of his own jobs instead of working for his couple friends. God is TRULY blessing him and his work greatly. We just praise the Lord and thank him for what he is doing in our lives.

Our house we’ve been renting since August we are growing into very fast. We moved from a 1 bedroom/1 bathroom apartment to a 3 bedroom/2 bathroom house with a garage. Then the weekend after we moved in we found out we were expecting our sweet baby. We are defiantly starting to grow into our home. Baby boy’s nursery needs organized, because we’ve been very blessed by generous people who have given/gotten us things already!  With Bryson on his way and us getting things we need to make our house a home we are really growing nicely into our home.

Zack and I have learned and have grown so much in our year and a half of marriage. To a lot of people that doesn’t seem like a very long time. That is true it hasn’t been a very long time, but the growth and progress we have made has been major. The love this man has for me is truly from God. It's beyond my understanding, how or why I got so lucky. But I am very thankful and so very happy! Yes we get on each others nerves, or things we say to each other we wish we wouldn't have after the fact. But we are human, and there is not much we can do about that. We always talk it out after the fact, forgive and just trust God heals the hurt that we caused. :-) I can see our love growing for each other everyday and see God at work in our lives. He is SO good!

God has really allowed our faith to grow in 2013. When we started on top of faithfully giving our tithe to our church we also gave an Offering towards a cause we wanted to support called "Charlies Dinosaurs " (I'll put more about it at the end because it's a cause that hit home hard from me). After starting to give an offering to this cause we saw God really start to move in our finances. But remember this was on TOP of already giving our tithe, I repeat this because we really started seeing the change after we did both. Not saying God only works this way, because his plan for everyone is different! But for us this has really opened our eye's that when we let go and give what we can to make a difference in someone's life, God openly blesses you where you need it. He is so amazing and we fully trust him in everything in our lives. Not to say we will never have a rough patch again, but even in that rough time God is still there and there is light at the end of the tunnel. We just have to have faith and trust him to take care of us!

Thanks for taking the time to read this! I believe this year is going to be amazing! I look forward to all the new things God has for Zack, Bryson and I! Love you all and pray God blesses you and your families through this year 2014 and every year after!

CHARLIES DINOSAURS: Charlies Dinosaurs is a foundation set up for Foster Children ages 3-16. Our financial support helps our church working with the foundation fill backpacks for children being placed in to foster homes. Because I was a foster child at one time to me this is SO important because these backpacks are the only thing most of these children have to call their own. They usually just have the clothes on there backs when they are being taken from a life of abuse which is all they've ever known. They fill these backpacks with age appropriate things for the children like  (Clothes, Coats, Hair Brushes, Tooth Paste, Tooth Brushes, Shampoo's & Conditioners, Books, Make Up, and so much more.) The children get these things when right when they enter the foster care system to accompany them in to their new environment!

This hits home hard for me not only because I was a foster child, but right when I was placed in the car to be taken away from my biological family I was given a Teddy Bear. I have my teddy bear still today. He was a HUGE comfort in the mist of horror of what was going on. My teddy bear comforted me many years after the fact as well, when I would have nightmares, or cry myself to sleep sleep at night, or wonder why the people that where supposed to love me the most in this world would hurt me and not want me, I would just snuggle my teddy bear and let the tears flow. Thankfully God had the most wonderful adoptive parents for me, that loved and care for me like I was there very own. Most foster children are not that lucky! So I count my blessings everyday.

So that is a little about the foundation and why it's so important to my husband and I! Thank you for taking the time to read this!

                                               ~God Bless You~

                                             Casey